A spectrum of therapist directiveness

When it comes to therapy, the way a therapist engages with their clients can vary widely along a spectrum of directiveness. Some therapists take a hands-off, reflective approach, often using no formal modality or leaning on interpersonal approaches such as psychodynamic or humanistic therapy. Others lean toward offering concrete action steps, frequently drawing from manualized approaches that vary depending on your goal (e.g. if it's to regulate your emotions, dialectical behavior therapy; if it's to reduce trauma symptoms, perhaps brainspotting - each gives the therapist and their clients a clear direction).

Neither end of the spectrum is inherently better; different levels of directiveness work for different clients, situations, and therapeutic goals. Understanding this spectrum can help you find the right fit for your needs and help therapists reflect on how their style aligns with their clients' preferences. Let's explore 10 levels of therapist directiveness from one extreme to the other. As you read, consider which resonates most with your needs and notice whether that's shifted as you've gone through different seasons of your life and different iterations of yourself.

We'll use the following vignette to paint a picture of what this might look like in action:

The client is an autistic adult navigating a recent workplace conflict where they felt excluded from a team project. They’re expressing frustration and uncertainty about whether to address the issue with their manager.

1. Reflective Witness

   Primarily listens, offers validation, and reflects back what the client is saying without introducing new ideas or interpretations.

   "It sounds like you're feeling really hurt and isolated after being left out. That seems really painful."
   

2. Exploratory Guide

   Asks open-ended questions to encourage deeper self-reflection but avoids suggesting specific directions.

   "What was it like for you when you first realized you weren’t included?"
   

3. Pattern Spotter

   Identifies recurring themes or inconsistencies in what the client shares, gently inviting them to consider connections.

   "I’m noticing this isn’t the first time you’ve mentioned feeling excluded at work. Do you feel like there’s a pattern here?"
   

4. Collaborative Investigator

   Engages in joint exploration of possibilities, brainstorming options while keeping the client in the driver’s seat.

   "It sounds like part of you wants to speak up, but there’s also some hesitation. What do you think might be holding you back?"
   

5. Perspective Broadener

   Offers alternative viewpoints or psychoeducation to help the client see situations in new ways.

   "Sometimes exclusion happens because of misunderstandings rather than intention. I wonder how it might feel to explore what was going on for your teammates?"

   
   

6. Gentle Challenger

   Encourages clients to question their assumptions or habitual patterns in a compassionate, non-confrontational way.

   "You mentioned feeling like it’s not worth speaking up. I’m curious, how true does that feel right now? Is there a part of you that thinks it might be worth it?"

   
   

7. Strategic Guide

   Recommends potential strategies or frameworks based on the client’s goals but leaves implementation entirely up to them.

   "Some people find it helpful to write down their thoughts before talking to a manager. Is that something you’d be open to trying?"

   
   

8. Solution-Oriented Coach

   Actively suggests tools, techniques, or next steps while still seeking the client’s input and autonomy.

   "You could approach this in a few ways: having a direct conversation with your manager, addressing it with your team, or even focusing on setting boundaries for yourself. Which option feels most manageable?"

   
   

9. Directive Advisor

   Provides clear guidance or structured interventions, occasionally recommending specific actions.

    "In situations like this, it often helps to talk to your manager sooner rather than later. I’d recommend having that conversation this week."

   
   

10. Prescriptive Authority

    Tells the client what they “should” do in a given situation, akin to a consultant or mentor.

    "You need to talk to your manager about this. If you wait, it might reinforce the idea that it’s okay to exclude you."

This is not the enneagram. No therapist will or should remain in any one place all of the time. Effective, supportive therapy is flexible and fluid, but a good therapist cares for themselves so they have capacity to care for their clients, and caring for yourself means being authentic. In the same way that we may speak to a parent different than we speak to a colleague but remain true to ourselves, therapists' strengths usually fall within a range of authentic presentations. When I meet with a potential new client, for example, I assess whether we'll be a fit from my perspective in part according to how directive they are looking for me to be and whether they are anticipating that I will end each session with a to-do list for them and give them three easy steps to stop being anxious. My practice is called "Autonomous Minds" for a reason - I tend to fall anywhere between numbers 1 and 6 on the spectrum, and I make shifts not just based on the client I'm seeing but on how they're showing up in session that way and what content and emotion they're bringing in. If I were to attempt to move above a 6 as a regular practice, it would involve heavy masking and over time likely lead me into burnout. Instead, if a client who started out needing the therapy space to verbally process and was benefitting most from my reflection of the patterns I noticed (#5) starts to feel frustrated with leaving therapy "empty-handed" that's a good indicator to me that goals have shifted and it's likely a good time to refer them to someone whose style is more directive, oftentimes a coach whose entire job is based around goals and problem-solving.

Occasionally, and in very specific circumstances, I will naturally slip into a 7 or above (for example, if someone in a dangerous situation needs clear information about the risks in a decision they're considering, or if analysis paralysis is a neurodivergent trait they'd like scaffolded by me in the decision-maker role rather than learning strategies to do it themselves). Sometimes I'll ask my clients to clarify what support looks like for them today so that I don't assume it looks the same as it did last week. Sometimes that question is overwhelming because they've come to me in the hopes that I'll tell them. This is where an established relationship, an attunement to both my clients' stories and needs is the therapy.

To be fair, even the most prescriptive therapist is no miracle worker, nor is the most loose co-journeying sounding board. No therapeutic modality is "the cure" just as no self-help book will guarantee happiness, regardless of how sensational its claims are. But you can feel confident in the work you're doing with a therapist who gives you the right amount of space for you. My hope is that you can use the language on this spectrum to better explain what you're needing when something needs adjusting in therapy. You might also consider asking your therapist (or potential new therapist) where they see themselves on this spectrum to assess fit.