I am what some might call "an open book," by which I mean that in most contexts, disclosing information about myself doesn't bring up much emotion. Once upon a time in group therapy, I was known to roll my eyes at every "Thank you for sharing that." I have since come to learn that neither I nor my fellow group members were right or wrong about this. Instead, the group consisted of a diverse sampling of vulnerability languages, or things that each of us experience as vulnerabl

The idea that relationships should not be "transactional" is in line with the anti-capitalist values around which I live my life and practice therapy. It is true that healthy relationships are built on more than give-and-take exchanges of favors, but the key word is "more than." Those exchanges are still there, and they are still crucial. While it's romantic and Hallmark card-esque to believe that love and friendship should be unconditional and that care is best when it's giv